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The Time It Takes

by Honey Creek

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1.
Intro 00:36
If I could ever catch up, would I ever catch up enough.
2.
Well I’ve got so much I’ve got to do today, Fell short in a million ways, Cuz I’m just wasting time, I’m always wasting time. Its only like 7:30 and I’m here in the library, Broke as hell but still buying coffee and typing on a broken screen. I got a nosebleed when some dude squared me, last night, during No Victory. I don’t know if you’ve heard, my life’s a mess I can never catch up enough. I don’t know if you’ve heard, I tend to chain-smoke when I get drunk, Which I’ve been doing every night. So sick of trying to find a way to justify that I don’t feel alright. I’ve been trying to be someone that I thought I had to be. But that’s not me. I’ve been so fucking tired. it’s been a rough few weeks.
3.
3 Years Off 02:34
All the kids I went to high school with seem to have a better grip on what they’re doing with their lives, and that’s fine, I’ll just keep telling myself that if I actually tried I could have been a chef or done something of worth. Anything that would give me sense of purpose. So, don’t you talk to me in that condescending tone. I know I’m not figured out but having nothing means I’ve got nothing to lose. Maybe I don’t stand a chance, but that leaves me better off than you. I’ve gotta learn how to take a bad day and look at it in a different way. Life’s a series of lessons you have to remember, there’s a point to the time that it takes to get better. Someday i swear that I’ll get there. I know I’m not figured out but having nothing means I’ve got nothing to lose. Maybe I don’t stand a chance, but that leaves me better off than you. I’m better off than you.
4.
Selfish is an accurate way to put it, cuz where I’ve put all my focus wasn’t being better off. And I’ve noticed I’ve been way more exhausted trying to force self-improvement rather than being there for you. I’ve been eating healthy foods, doing good in school, and I hope that digs into you. Without you I’d be lost, yeah you swore that was true. Say it all you want but know that I don’t miss you too. Feels like I haven’t shaved my beard in like a year. But at least I was prepared because it’s gotten colder here. And as you packed, you told me that I’d be just fine, And you were right, so go get on your flight. Despite the initial pain I felt, I’m so fucking thankful now. I needed you to fall for him so I could get pushed out Cuz in the back of my head I was hoping we wouldn’t last, so stop confessing to me that you settled for second best. I don’t know if you’ll ever find your way back, and I promise that I couldn’t care less.
5.
This apartments been closing in. Studs on the walls where your pictures would have been, But now they’re bare and ready for something new. I guess they’re just like you. So sick of being the kid that’s fucking everything up. I’ve been pushing against being that way for the past few months. Is what you’d expect of me? Because maybe I deserved that in February, but I swear I’m better now. After I saw the ocean, and one day in Portland, there were feelings that I came to trust. We still talk every day, and despite what you say, it’s not the same way it was. After nine months of acting like an asshole, I’ve got nothing to lose. This broken heart sounds more like a broken record, and all I say is “I’m still in love with you” a thousand times, but you just say goodnight. And I’ve learned this time to just say goodnight. “I wish I could change the look in my eye. Your words bite down, fight me from time to time. I was so hopeful. Tell me where did the time go.” These past few months I’ve been stuck, cuz I’m still waking up in a full-size bed that used to be for us but now just me instead. And I’ll still come across some of the things that you left, reminding me of everything that I (“you”) wrecked. “After I saw the ocean, and one day in Portland, there were feelings I came to trust.” So tell me am I worth it, am I still important, cuz back at Crater Lake you said I was.
6.
Progress 03:44
I promise I’m trying to sing, but I just can’t find the energy lately. This late night, early morning routine is wringing out what’s left of me. 4 hours of sleep looks like the most I’m able to get tonight, but that’s improvement from these last few weeks. I’ve been wondering if this stress is worth it when I can’t be sure what the hell I’m doing. None of my friends have the courage to tell me I should start working out. Fresh out of money, and my mom keeps calling, saying I should move back into her house. I hate how tempting that sounds. So just one more cigarette, I can spare those eleven minutes, man I gotta find a better way to deal with things. Cuz you would think by now that something would have changed, but after half a year I’m still not making progress. So what does it mean when I’m still on the Greenline, and what does that make me if I’ve realized that all you are is someone with a head start I know I could catch up. I promise I’m trying to sing, but I just can’t find the energy lately. This late night, early morning routine is wringing out what’s left of me.

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credits

released July 20, 2018

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Shane Olivo at Shane Olivo Audio

Album artwork by Dylan Ljujic and Julia Scheckel

Domo Lagrossa - Vocals
Dylan Ljujic - Bass
Donnie Warren - Drums
Sam Theno - Guitar

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Honey Creek Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Pop-punk from Milwaukee, WI

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honeycreekmke@gmail.com

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